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Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Happy retirement wishes! There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Because it runs through your jeans. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." You've broken the law. Junior Seau. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. Congratulations. Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. 32. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. 11. 18. Dick Van Dyke, "Choose a work that you love and you won't have to work another day." Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. Dave Allen, "I find the biggest trouble with having nothing to do is you can't tell when you are done." done for this department over the years! Pinterest. We enjoy success due to your leadership, I cant get old; Im working. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Enjoy.". 42. The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Prepare for the worst. Before you invest, investigate. Goodbye Tension. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? Best wishes in all your future endeavors. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. Before you pray, forgive. Hi Pension. Money is only a tool. After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. - Gail Sheehy. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. These words may help. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? Honestly, sleeping in past 5:30 a.m. sounds heavenly. At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez Cars are backed up for miles. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. They suspected it of fowl play. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. Upon retirement, you will take the long walk . For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Keep in touch . It is the only pleasure I have left. The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. What does it look like? the woman asked. Retirement! And who knows? They serve and protect. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. . All content, Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. Anonymous Samuel Johnson, In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. Why did the coffee call 911? . Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. You cant win until you do this. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. I got stopped last night by a police officer. C K. Spartan Police Theme Party Cop Party Lego Party Policeman Party Officer Party Police Officer 6th Birthday Parties Boy Birthday Birthday Ideas Police Birthday Invitation Printable by TwirlyDesigns on Etsy, $12.00 S Kim Childers Police Wife Life Police Family The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. We Wish You All the Best in Your Retirement! Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? Do you have an investment policy statement? Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . Thats what he is here for. A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. Hartman Jule, "I have never liked working. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Hello Pension. "I'm not retiring. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. Women go right on cooking." Happy retirement my dear friend. To the People of the State of New York. . A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. significant financial decision. Present This to You as a Symbol of Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Unknown A retired husband is often a wife's full time job. James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings. "You will be alone. Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. helpful non helpful. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt . Show me a sample retirement speech! The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. It was mugged. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. 30. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Whos there? Funny police retirement quotes sayings. 15. Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! 33. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Unknown, Expect the best. Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. Two rounds a day are plenty. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. Facts about financial success later in life! I said, Scissors. 50. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. You've obviously missed it. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. It means choice." For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Retirement Quotes. Showering is Now Optional. as you follow in His way, Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. 6. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." All the best!". Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. "That's great!" says the doctor. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. For some, the work itself was the bliss, while for others, the work was the poison they couldn't wait to escape. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. only and are not investment advice. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. 500 matching entries found. I can't take it any more! "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. Connect with peers and experts, About Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. 51. HUMOROUS RETIREMENT QUOTES Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. Not even a rumor. Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. the People of the City of New York. 4. 55. I didnt realize you were a cop.. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. A. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. 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The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Before you spend, earn. 40. The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. Dishes who? Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Because it was mugged. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. I tell them, a paternity suit. Whos the most famous lawn detective? My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Before you retire, save. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. To return Click Here. What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! Some call it 'retirement.' Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket? 24. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. Retirement is wonderful. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? What did the police officer say to the hand? The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. They aren't going to get rid of me that way. 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. My dogs dont even own bikes. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. A trisara-cop. May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. Get Started Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. Financial Planning Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. 10. The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. Women go right on cooking.". Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. All the best for an amazing retirement! I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. As we express our gratitude, we must never They said he was a real pro for a first offender. I'm Retired. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. Police say they have nothing to go on. Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Wishing you a happy retirement! Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. Unemployed and Loving It. Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. We wish you the best retirement possible. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." 30. Call the Police. - Jonathan Clements. Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. present this to you in recognition of - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. picclick.com. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. They aren't going to get rid of me that way." Humorous quotes and messages. 7. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? 8329 matching entries found. What do you call a snake that informs the police? Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. I don't necessarily believe in physical retirement. Here are some humorous options. Quote #20. A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. David Gill 0 Likes The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Your email address will not be published. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." - Unknown. # funny # animation # illustration # woman # drawing # happy # fun # party # stars # day # happy # fun # celebration # work . See top 10 retirement one liners. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. With Great Honor and Recognition Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . You just stole my heart. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. 10. "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home forever." - Gene Perret "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." - Fred Rogers "Retirement is not the end of the road. We tell 'em to get a life." What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. 54. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. 59. Are you married to a police officer? All sorted from the best by our visitors. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." and may you find joy and peace Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. You grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw, To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. Dick Van Dyke, Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for. Unknown, Retirement: thats when you return home from work one day and say, Hi honey, Im home forever. Gene Perret, Retirement is not the end of the road. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. Funny Retirement Quotes. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. Here it is, she said. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. 20. What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? They arent going to get rid of me that way. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. When a career marked by life on the beat winds to a close, mere celebration isnt enough. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. happy days are here at last! Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

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